Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.

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Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

Winston

What? You don't think I can be supportive?

Cece

I'm not willing to turn our home into a public pool.

Schmidt

You don't need Jess's bowl of advice, Winston.

Cece

You have the focus of a coked up Italian on a summer day!

Schmidt

Nick: I'm very focused.
Schmidt: You're not even looking at me right now.
Nick: I though I saw something shiny.

I'm a business guy first and a sex guy second.

Nick

We gonna make a girl cry today!

Winston

Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?

Schmidt

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

It's good for you! It's corn!

Bob

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it.

Jess