I can't concentrate, it's filthy in here!

Schmidt

I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.

Nick

Good luck with these two because if they get really hungry then all bets are off.

Cece

Have either of you ever made a decision in your lives?

Reagan

Nick: Of course we make decisions. How do you think I'm wearing clothes right now?
Schmidt: I lay those out for you Nick.

I will sleep with one of you tonight if you can decide who.

Reagan

Well get ready for the skin circus you little peanut.

Nick

Me owe you? You ditched me when we were supposed to run away from school together. I built that raft for nothing.

Winston

I had dibs on her since the first grade dude.

Winston

I knew that French was gonna haunt me.

Nick

I never loved you more Cece!

Schmidt

I look like a 70's divorce attorney.

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.

I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.

Nick