She lulled me to sleep and then she went rouge.

Schmidt

I'd give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.

Nick

I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer.

Nick

Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.

You show up sick, you might as well be dead.

Schmidt

I don't understand. Is Toby your name?

Schmidt

Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?

Jess

Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn't mean you can't like sake baths.

Cece

You got hurt on a hog man!

Nick

Nick: What does a man do about that pain?
Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath.

That's too much whisky for my frame.

Winston

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.

I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.

Nick