Everyone has had sex in my room!

Jess

• Permalink: Everyone has had sex in my room!
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Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

Jess

• Permalink: Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.
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I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.
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I know you're a terrible liar, but I need you to lie to Cece.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I know you're a terrible liar, but I need you to lie to Cece.
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Ferguson is on the elevator. Is that OK?

Regan

• Permalink: Ferguson is on the elevator. Is that OK?
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My whole life is you.

Schmidt

• Permalink: My whole life is you.
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I don't know if Hogwarts is near San Diego. I've never heard of it.

Nick

• Permalink: I don't know if Hogwarts is near San Diego. I've never heard of it.
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The on-suite is on fleek.

Schmidt

• Permalink: The on-suite is on fleek.
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You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

• Permalink: You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.
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DeeDee? That's not a name.

Nick

• Permalink: DeeDee? That's not a name.
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On paper we're as ugly as Winston's belly button ring.

Schmidt

• Permalink: On paper we're as ugly as Winston's belly button ring.
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Paul Ryan 2020.

Schmidt

• Permalink: Paul Ryan 2020.
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