Jess, first of all, you're never gonna be old, humans are going to be immortal by 2026. Second of all, give me your phone. You have backslider written all over you.

Schmidt

• Permalink: Jess, first of all, you're never gonna be old, humans are going ...
• Added: May 01, 2012

Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me I look bad in hats.

Nick

• Permalink: Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head who sounds lik...
• Added: May 01, 2012

Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They're like the people version of pleated pants.

Schmidt

• Permalink: Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They'r...
• Added: May 01, 2012

Paul is the all-time worst crier. It's like a slow motion sneeze.

Jess

• Permalink: Paul is the all-time worst crier. It's like a slow motion sneeze...
• Added: May 01, 2012

Paul: Now I know what Bill Clinton feels like!
Jess: Now I know what Monica Lewinsky feels like!
Paul: I'm sorry I made you feel like Monica Lewinsky!

• Permalink: Now I know what Bill Clinton feels like! Now I know what Monic...
• Added: May 01, 2012