And it was you, not Keaton, who told me that women aren't attracted to men who wear maternity pants?

Schmidt

• Permalink: And it was you, not Keaton, who told me that women aren't attrac...
• Added: October 22, 2013

My mom? You're going to tell me that my mom helped me with my public erections? I drew pictures!

Schmidt

• Permalink: My mom? You're going to tell me that my mom helped me with my pu...
• Added: October 22, 2013

I just got a treat, too. It's not candy. I'm not a dumb little baby like you.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I just got a treat, too. It's not candy. I'm not a dumb little b...
• Added: October 22, 2013

He lost five pounds, he gained confidence with women, and he saw the movie "Multiplicity" 25 times.

Nick

• Permalink: He lost five pounds, he gained confidence with women, and he saw...
• Added: October 22, 2013

I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.

Nick

• Permalink: I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Pen...
• Added: October 22, 2013

Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!

• Permalink: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?! Yeah, w...
• Added: October 22, 2013

I'm having a party tonight and I can't have him lying on the couch, wiping his tears with deli meat.

Jess

• Permalink: I'm having a party tonight and I can't have him lying on the cou...
• Added: October 22, 2013