New Girl Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.Jess
Jess: Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?
I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.Jess
Waitress: You're all on a date?
Nick: Yeah, we're her boyfriends. We're reverse Mormons - one guy just isn't enough for her.
Jess: Well, I guess I can't hide my crazy.
Nick: I don't you're trying that hard.
Pink wine makes me slutty.Jess
Schmidt: I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.
Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.
I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.Nick