Prostitute: Aren't you a virgin, too?
Winston: Just my penis, baby. Just my penis.

• Permalink: Aren't you a virgin, too? Just my penis, baby. Just my penis.
• Added: April 29, 2013

Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.

• Permalink: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants! It's really ...
• Added: April 29, 2013

So, would you like to freak?

Jess

• Permalink: So, would you like to freak?
• Added: April 29, 2013

Sometimes I just sit in the stall and listen to you guys.

Nick

• Permalink: Sometimes I just sit in the stall and listen to you guys.
• Added: April 29, 2013

Schmidt: A tuxedo is different from a suit.
Nick: It is??!!

• Permalink: A tuxedo is different from a suit. It is??!!
• Added: April 29, 2013

Cece: I thought I threw that thing out the window.
Schmidt: That only made it stronger.

• Permalink: I thought I threw that thing out the window. That only made it...
• Added: April 29, 2013

I'm going on a date with Elizabeth tonight. I haven't had sex with her since I was fat and accessing my penis was like getting a remote control out of the couch.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I'm going on a date with Elizabeth tonight. I haven't had sex wi...
• Added: April 29, 2013