Welcome to hell, Miller!

Winston

This looks like an ad for a bong making company.

Jess

Please do not reach for it like you're Winston reaching for someones breast.

Schmidt

Jess: Sometimes I think I was bred in a lab to help people.
Winston: You know what else they bred in a lab? Pugs.

She lulled me to sleep and then she went rouge.

Schmidt

Everbody has been flashed countless times, right?

Nick

It's not gonna end well for these two.

Nick

Like I always say, don't call me Becky unless you're riding me like a horse.

Becky

I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage.

Jess

Winston: Would you consider us adorable?
Nick: No, we're adult men. We're cute.

It's not mine. I only buy local except for clothing and produce, medication, water, seasoning, meat.

Schmidt

It's too small to be a cat hotel and too big to be pants so it can't be mine.

Winston

New Girl Quotes

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick