New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXNew Girl Season 1 Quotes
Nick: I was sixteen! I have gotten a lot better!
Schmidt: You haven't gotten that much better. I used to listen to you and Caroline all the time when we were in college. It was like listening to a rescue crew trying to communicate with a stranded minor. "Are you ok? Yea. Are you ok? Yea".
Jess: Do you think Paul watches stuff like that?
Nick: Yep
Schmidt: All the time
Winston: He's probably watching it right now.
I saw your registry. I'm gonna get you one of those portable baby pumps. You're just out there, in everyday life. But you're pumping yourself at the same time, just milking away.
Schmidt
Are you like a Bond villain? You just told me your whole plan.
Schmidt
So head's up, Paul's coming tonight. And I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
Jess
Nick: I'm not going to a black barber shop, Winston. I've seen the movies. I know how fast they talk. I don't need to seem any less cool than I already do.
Schmidt: Wanna go to my salon?
Oh yea, it's...your baby. It's cute. Yea, your baby's cute.
Nick
Hey tiger, you're having sex tonight. Don't give me that look, just do it!
Jess
It is not that hard. It is an instrument that a cat wears around its neck!
Winston
I don't care if it sounds like a man covered in bells falling down a set of stairs... that are also covered in bells.
Jess
I want friends who still lie to me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.
Nick
Winston: Where are your eyes?
Students: On the tiger.
