Every once in a while, you meet someone, and everything changes. You see a gal in a bar, or a guy, if that’s your thing, and you toss out some Cary Grant BS, like, “What brings someone like you to a joint like this?” And she, or he, if that’s your thing, they smile at you, and your whole goddamn universe turns upside down.

Detective Kreps

I don’t want my life to be all about the worst parts of it. I have more to offer than that.

Mabel Mora

I am so Greek I could go bankrupt, and no one in the world would help me.

Oliver Putnam

Who are you supposed to be? Rocky Zero? Great White Dope? Raging Bullshitter?

Mabel Mora

I hope that you charge rent to the people inside your head. You’d make a fortune.

Rose Cooper

Teddy Dimas: On your worst day, you didn’t drag your son into a criminal enterprise or cover up his involvement in someone’s death.
Oliver Putnam: True. But I did recently encourage him to get involved in the theater.

Aren’t we square at this point? You send me to jail, I fuck your wife.

Teddy Dimas

Only Murders In the Building Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

I don’t want my life to be all about the worst parts of it. I have more to offer than that.

Mabel Mora

Every once in a while, you meet someone, and everything changes. You see a gal in a bar, or a guy, if that’s your thing, and you toss out some Cary Grant BS, like, “What brings someone like you to a joint like this?” And she, or he, if that’s your thing, they smile at you, and your whole goddamn universe turns upside down.

Detective Kreps