Only Murders In the Building Season 1 Quotes

What a terrific god-damned finale this is going to be.

Oliver

Oliver: We've got to break the door down.
Mabel: Excuse me, we weigh 125 combined.
Oliver: Oh, thank you! It's the dips.

I've broken up with people for whispering loudly in movies or chewing weird.

I'm a sucker for lonely guys with notable age differences I meet on elevators.

Jan

I've had worse injuries shucking oysters.

Oliver

I'd like to point out that when I offered to help, everyone sent me home to get stabbed.

Jan

She's not a kid. We only think she's a kid because we're old.

Charles

Tim Kono's death has now been ruled a homicide and apparently one of you jerkoffs did it.

Bunny

I am riveted. She is so the better you.

Oliver

For a long time, I felt ashamed to have a deaf son. It ended my marriage, actually. That and, you know, all the whores.

Teddy

You'll make the right choice. Because if you don't, well, I know where you live.

Teddy

Detective Wiliams: Aw, shit. Fuck. Fuck, man.
Oliver: Is that a good shit fuck fuck?

Only Murders In the Building Season 1 Quotes

Oliver: Oh, you're not Scott Bakula?
Charles: I am not.
Oliver: Oh, you're the other one. Got it.

Even the elevator wanted that story to end.

Charles

Only Murders In the Building Season 1

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