Orange is the New Black
Fridays 8:00 PM on NetflixOrange is the New Black Season 1 Quotes
I'm scared that I'm not myself in here and I'm scared that I am.
Piper
Holy f*ck I wish we could put this shit on YouTube.
Pornstache
I like hot girls. And I like hot boys. I like hot people. What can I say? I'm shallow.
Piper
Piper: I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming...
Alex: Shhhh... show don't tell.
Alex: It doesn't feel right to be eating while she's in there.
Nicky: Straight girls. They'll f*ck you up every time.
I swear to God, if they let me out of here, I will shut up. I will shut up and I will put my head down and I will do my time and I will smile at Healy and I won't go near him. I can do that. But please don't leave me here. Please.
Piper
Wake up Healy, girls like me, we don't go f*ck ignorant, pretentious men with lesbian obsessions. We go for hot, tall girls and we f*cking love it. So that leaves you on the outside with your sad, sad little life. So you don't get me ever! So go f*ck yourself!
Piper
Healy: Alex Vause is sick. I get you. You're not like her.
Piper: The only sicko here, is you.
You want your pills? You can go stick your head in the toilet. There might still be a few floating around.
Red
Pornstache: Chapman, what are we not to do this Thanksgiving?
Piper: Commit suicide.
Pennsatucky: And you're not invited, because they don't allow gay people on the rapture bus!
Alex: There's a bus?
Trimmings? The shit nobody else wants. That's a bag of assholes right there.
Nicky
