Favorite Parks and Recreation Quotes
April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.Andy
Zerts are what I call deserts, tray trays are what I call entrees, sandwiches are sammies, sandoozles or Adam Sandlers, air conditioners are cool blaterz with a "z" ... I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies, I call noodles long ass rice, fried chicken is fry fry chicky chick, chicken parmesan is chicky chicky parm parm, chicken caciatore is chicky catch, I call eggs pre-birds or future birds, root beer is super water, tortillas are bean blankets, and I call forks... food rakes!Tom
Oh, Andy. You're fine, but you're simpleDonna
Jean-Ralphio: This party sucks. Let's get out of here.
April: It's my birthday party.
Jean-Ralphio: It is?
Jean-Ralphio: Sorry, boo.
You know what's thirsty? You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird. When I'm drunk.Leslie
Where's all the faces of the presidents?Andy
Leslie: Do you need to get that?
Ann: No, it's just penises.
Yeah we got the moon. What are you going to do without tides, Peru?Leslie
I definitely have more lions than any other country in the whole world right now.Andy
Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.Ron
It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teet until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine year old.Ron
Andy: Let me go to Big Head Joe's for you. They have the most insane burritos.
Ron: I don't much go for ethnic food.
Andy: No no no. Trust me. They have one that's called the meat tornado. Literally killed a guy last year.
Ron: You had me at meat tornado.