Ben: Why would you erase the signatures?
Townsperson: I’m more of a Jack Johnson guy.

Jerry's work is often adequate.

Ron

They call me Devo because I can whip 'em good.

Ben

He's like an invisible, adolescent, James Bond super villain criminal mastermind. Or maybe someone else is doing it.

Leslie

Tom: Dude, what the hell kind of art is this? It looks like a lizard puking up Skittles.
Arnold: I'm an abstract expressionist.
Tom: No, you're a con artist, and I'm a guy who's out 20 bucks. Ugh, whatever.

Woah, Dylan, slow down. That sweat suit is not for sweating. If you take that crushed velvet on more than a brisk walk,it'll fall apart.

Tom

Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They're too strong for clippers.

Ron Swanson

I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.

April

Once again, Pawnee citizens might tolerate/ignore me!

Leslie

The election is coming up. Jamm keeps trying to find new ways to screw me over. He tried to have me listed on the ballet as Leslie Buttface Hitler the IV.

Leslie

Chris: More than one way to skin a cat.
Brad: There's four. Four ways to skin a cat!

Tammy: It's really good to see you, Ron.
Ron: You've aged horribly.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.