Leslie: Suspect still with friends in parking lot. He looks obnoxious and irritating, even from a great distance.
Dave: Uh, confirmed.

You are the world’s most adorable and I LOVE YOU! You are so freakin’ precious!

Craig

Chicago has a lot of stuff and people, but I like to nothing and hang out with no one, so no thank you. And I love you. But no thank you.

April

I doth proclaim to be a stupid fart face.

Leslie

I'm from Eagleton.

Leslie

May I say for the record that is a dope pocket square?

Tom

Uhhhh...you're on fire.

Donna

I dig your groovy tunes man.

April

This case just remained interesting.

Andy

Ben: Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday?
Leslie: From my office - I have like 50 of them.

12 closets, 3 bomb shelters, 5 dumbwaiters, 2 3/8ths bath, no kitchens. Fairly standard layout.

Andy

I mean $100 bucks a week is pretty fair.

Andy

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.