Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 14: "Leslie's House" Quotes
Phil: Were you aware that all the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
Ron: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
Phil: I don't know. Would you have?
Ron: Would you have?
Phil: No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
Ron: What constitutes a promise?
Phil: A quid pro quo.
Ron: Oh. Do you know Latin?
Phil: OK. Thank you, Ron.
Ron: Are we done?
There are very few things I have asked for in this world. To build a new park from scratch, to eventually become president and to one day solve a murder on a train.
Leslie: Everybody stop talking, until Justin gets here. Don't use up your stories.
Mark: Well I think somebody from Animal Services is going to get canned-
Leslie: Oh my god, what part of no talking do you not understand? Please have a good time and shut your mouth.
I can't wait to talk to Justin again. Last time he told me about how he snorkeled with whale sharks in Madagascar. That was after I told him that I sometimes go swimming at the Y.
Mark
I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, unless they should request that I do.
Andy
Ann: What do you need this bird house for? Can we get rid of it?
Leslie: I might need it.
Ann: What about this one?
Leslie: Well, if two birds come along.
Hey it's me, Justin. Take my coat, but please be careful I got it from the king of Africa when we were walking on the Berlin Wall together. Really, Justin, what instruments do you play? Actually. Actually he's a pretty sick keyboardist.
Andy
If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?
Ron
Ron: How many courses will there be?
Leslie: Three
Ron: Hmm?
Leslie: Four.
Ron: Hmm.
Leslie: Not including dessert.
Ron: So five courses.
Leslie: Yes, now it will be five courses.
Justin: You've got to try this.
Leslie: Oh that's really good.
Justin: Isn't it great? It's camel stomach.
Leslie: Is it?
Justin: I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken.
Waiter: Would you like to try the camel stomach?
Leslie: No.
Leslie: That fish over there kinda reminds me of my mom.
Justin: Why?
Leslie: It's just being very withholding.
Nobody's more upset about this than me. I've been taking these rec center classes since I was in high school. It's where I learned hair braiding and how to make biscuits and french kissing. The french kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class. But either way, lesson learned.
