Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 16: "Li'l Sebastian" Quotes
Tammy: Guess I'll be heading home.

Ron: Catching the number twelve bus to Satan's butthole?

Tammy: Actually I prefer the number 69 train to Humpsville Station.
Ron: An hour ago an entire fireball consumed my entire face and it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy: Tell that to your pants tent.
Does the carpet match the face?
Tammy
Ron, are you mad at me? Because without eyebrows I can't really tell.
Jerry
I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.
Ron
I think if you would know one thing about me it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches.
Ron
I hope you brought a change of clothes because your eyes are about to piss tears.
Jean-Ralphio
Leslie: Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.

Ben: Well, Maggy Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.
Ben: Show me Pelosi again.

Leslie: Okay, lay down.
Hello Leslie, how long have you been sleeping with Ben?
Ron
I made my money the old fashioned way. Getting run over by a Lexus.
Jean-Ralphio
