Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 1: "Pawnee Zoo" Quotes
[to Andy] I'm happy for you about your job, and that you've learned some new words, but I've made my decision.Ann
There are two bisexual guys here and I got both of their phone numbers. Oh yeah!Leslie
Marcia: When you symbolically married those penguins on government property you took a stand in favor of the gay marriage agenda.
Leslie: That's not what I intended.
Marcia: Then why else would you marry penguins?
Leslie: Because I firmly believed that it would be cute. And it was!
Andy? After we broke up, he told me he would doing to Kansas to climb mountains. So ... I don't really know where he is.Ann
I've seen so many dudes from City Hall here tonight, it's crazy! [pause] But, I guess they've seen me here too. Which is not so great.Tom
You know why tonight is so much fun? Because everyone's so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the dancing ... everyone is just who they are and who they are is just stone cold gay.Leslie
I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine.Mark
Ron: Okay, here's the situation.
Leslie: Your parents went away on a week's vacation and left the keys to the brand new Porsche? I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends. That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking. I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking. this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh. She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far. I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car. Well parents are the same no matter time nor place, so to you other kids all across the land, no need to worry, parents just don't understand!
Ron: Someone is on fire in Ramsett Park. They need you to get down there right away.
The thing about youth culture is that I don't understand it.Leslie
Leslie: Just to be clear, that was a friend punch. There was no flirtatious meaning behind that punch I just gave your arm.
Mark: I do understand. You've made it abundantly clear that there is absolutely no romantic element to our relationship.
Ron: Leslie. Some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie: Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron: The Bulge. It's behind my house.
Leslie: The Bulge is a gay bar? The nights I've wasted there ...
Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.