Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 22: "The Master Plan" Quotes
Chris: I'd love to chat with you. Can I call you?
Ann: You have my phone number?
Chris: No, you couldn't remember your phone number. But you gave me your phone.
Ann: Hey, Ron. Did we make out last night?
Ron: Good god, woman. No.
Leslie: What was that song you played at the swearing in ceremony?
Ben: "Whoop, There It Is."
Leslie: Yes. God, I was so jealous of you.
When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town and won. Little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion I guess. Here's the thing, though, about 18 year olds. They're idiots. So I pretty much ran the place into the ground and after two months got impeached. Worst part was my parents grounded me.
Ben
The problem is I only have 15 penises, so, there would have been 28 girls who are really upset with me.
Tom
Ten cosmos. Eight Smirnoff Ices. And everything else starts with the word pomegranate. Aw, was it your bachelorette party?
Lucy
Don't keep him too long. I need someone to be here when I take a multivitamin. It's a choking hazard.
Chris
Leslie: I'm here to speak to Ben, actually.
Chris: Great, I'm going to listen to some ocean sounds and do some pull-ups.
Scientists believe that the first human being to live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.
Chris
Leslie: Wow, you have a lot of bottles there.
Chris: Oh yeah, would you like a vitamin? B12? Evening Primrose Oil? Willa Bar? Magnesium?
Leslie: No thank you.
Chris: Sure? They're good for hangovers.
Leslie: OK, I'll take one.
You know what's thirsty? You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird. When I'm drunk.
Leslie
Jean-Ralphio: This party sucks. Let's get out of here.
April: It's my birthday party.
Jean-Ralphio: It is?
April: Yes.
Jean-Ralphio: Sorry, boo.
