Tom: It's a whole documentary of my failures!
Lucy: That you made!

Jean-Ralphio, although I truly hope that I never see you again, I do wish you a long and happy life.

Leslie

Ben: I have so many presents, it's weird!
Andy: Yes!! Oh, for the baby? Put 'em over there.

April: But in the end? Bringing a child into this world? That's disgusting!
Andy: Nooo, we'd wipe all the disgusting stuff right off it!

Babe, I want to put a babe in you babe.

Andy

Andy: I get to push the buttons! I call it!
April: He called it.
Leslie: Yeah I know.

All that coffee and legal marijuana has people wanting to buy houses quickly, and irrationally.

Donna

Haha, "Euro-trash," I like that. That is indeed a garbage continent.

Ron

Leslie: Why are you like this?
Jean-Ralphio: Pills, baby!

I'm gonna turn the "mayoral office" into "my oral office."

The Douche

Lucy, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to marry me.

Tom

His barber, butcher, and lover. I have lost one of them today.

Ron

Parks & Rec Quotes

Donna: Did you just pee your pants?
Jerry: Just a dab.

Well, math is hard.

Leslie