Olive: Here comes the center of the universe, pulling us all into her gravitational orbit of blame.
Chuck: Oh, well, FYI, um, there is no center of the universe because our universe is forever expanding.
Olive: Like your neediness. "Wah, respect my feelings. Wah, don't fence me in. Wah, don't treat me like I'm dead." Well, if you're so dead, how can you be needy? Oh right... you're selfish!

Olive: It's like we're trapped in a sachet in a panty drawer of a dead shut-in, who was shut in her bedroom by her cat so that it would have to smell the scene of Freesia. Can't you smell it?
Chuck: Yeah. That would be my Freesia hair detangler that you said smells amazing yesterday.
Olive: Wish I hadn't now.

Veronica: I want "Yustice" at any price.
Calista:: That's our kind of yustice. We'll be in touch.

Olive: Know what you want?
Calista: Yeah. Nothing', with a size of "buzz off."

The firm of Cod & Cod dedicated itself to the pursuit of truth at all costs... a pursuit young Emerson found "badass."

Narrator

Emerson: What got thee to a nunnery?
Olive: Oh, Emerson. You really want to know?
Emerson: Not especially. That was just my attempt at polite wee talk. Moment's passed, so let's talk compensation.

Emerson: I'm Father Dowling. These are my associates: Father Mulcahy and Sister Christian.

(after re-killing Sister Larue) We are so going to hell.

Ned

Emerson: Rule Number One: don't buy fish on Monday. Rule Number Two: Don't poke an angry German.

Chuck: If Mother Superior found Larue's shiny stash...
Ned: Then all it would take was one push, and the convent would be back... in black.
Chuck: By-proxy high-five.
Emerson: Get, before I by-proxy vomit.

There are Commandments! We follow all ten, and I am commanding you to stop!

Olive

Chuck: There was a young man named Von Deenis...
Ned: Who they said had a very big...

Pushing Daisies Quotes

Chuck: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Emerson: Hell no. The planet's falling apart. Right now, it's the children's problem. We reincarnate, it's our problem

Vivian: Charlotte was a nice girl.
Lily: With the exception of puberty.
Vivian: Which was when Lily was going through a change of life.
Lily: Impolite to talk about one's menopause in mixed company.