Asta: Kinda cool that I'm here with an actual alien. I feel special.
Harry: You are not special. You're common.
Asta: That's oddly less offensive now that I know you're from outer space.

Put your hands behind your back. Turn around and put your hands behind your back. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You got the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, I'd be surprised because this salon is bangin'.

Sheriff Mike

Asta: Wow. Did you ever consider working for the CIA?
D'Arcy: Yeah, actually. I'm waiting to hear back.

Harry: Unless you know someone who has been in contact with other aliens, then I am, what is the expression? Shit out of luck. Mmmwah haha.
Sahar: If you don't stop using that kind of language around us, we're going to have to wash your mouth out with soap.
Harry: Go ahead. I like soap. I eat it all the time! Shit, ass, piss, dink. Where's the soap. I am so hungry.

Harry: The astronauts did land on the moon.
Asta: Good.
Harry: And their bodies were taken over before they returned.

Mike: Hey, hey! It's OK to ask for help!
Louis: Look who's talkin'.

Also, it's not a thing. It's a leg. You are leg-shaming me.

Harry

Louis: Your relationship with Liv reminds me of me and your mom before she up and left me.
Mike: You mean when she DIED?
Louis: I'll never forgive her for that.

Max: At least you're OK.
Harry: If Asta wasn't there, I would be dead. Except now, she knows the truth about me.
Max: You told her?! I thought this whole alien thing was our secret.
Harry: It stopped being a secret when you told your little friend over there in the head covering!
Max: She must have followed me. Don't worry. She's not going to tell anyone. She swore to Allah.
Max: Allah knows?! How many people have you told?!

Harry: You are so pushy.
Sahar: Oh, it looks like aliens are also put off by strong women. Get used to it. We aren't going anywhere.

D'Arcy: Yeah, what did you think happened?
Jay: I don't, I thought you were stuck on top of a mountain. You climbed with your hand lookin' like that?
D'Arcy: Well, yeah, I kinda had to. I was 30 feet down. Asta and Harry were down even further. I knew any rescue effort would have to wait until the storm had passed, at which point it would be too late. Cuz we would have all gone into hypothermia and be dead.
Jay: Asta could have died?
D'Arcy: Yeah, she could have. I mean, we all could've died actually. Pretty lucky.

Jay: So, you were an olympic skier. What was it like to wipe out and lose in front of the whole world?
D'Arcy: Not awesome.
Jay: Would you consider yourself a fallen hero? Because you were a hero, and then you fell.
D'Arcy: Mmm. Hmm. [covertly flips Jay the bird] I don't know. I thought this interview was supposed to be about the rescue thing.
Jay: I'm establishing background.
D'Arcy: Cool.
Jay: So, what happened to your hand?
D'Arcy: Fractured it. First time I fell down the crevasse.
Jay: You fell down a crevasse?

Resident Alien Season 1 Quotes

Max: At least you're OK.
Harry: If Asta wasn't there, I would be dead. Except now, she knows the truth about me.
Max: You told her?! I thought this whole alien thing was our secret.
Harry: It stopped being a secret when you told your little friend over there in the head covering!
Max: She must have followed me. Don't worry. She's not going to tell anyone. She swore to Allah.
Max: Allah knows?! How many people have you told?!

[after his first kiss with D'Arcy] Ah! It's rigor mortis! My penis is dying!

Harry