Royal Pains Season 1 Episode 12: "Wonderland" Quotes
Evan: Why don't you just summon the apparitions?
Divya: Okay, why are you asking me?
Evan: Because you're Indian. Maybe some of the rituals translate, right?
Divya: Wait a second. You think that Hinduism and Wicca are overlapping ideologies?
Evan: I'm just thinkin' outside the box.
Divya: You're a bloody neanderthal.
Zoey: My sister's a little off-center sometimes.
Hank: Oh, I know how you feel. My brother couldn't find the center with a GPS Device.
Amy: Someone close to you. Someone who looks like you. Someone with a letter 'R.'
Hank: My brother. Evan R. Lawson?
Amy: He's getting himself into trouble.
Hank: Sorry, Amy, you don't need a gift to sense that one.
Evan: So that's a long island iced tea.
Amy: House specialty. I make them every day for family cocktail hour.
Zoey: Apparently, spirits calm the spirits.
Divya: You want to do the spinal tap tonight?
Hank: And that's not all I want to do. There may be only one way to get to the bottom of this immediately.
(Divya and Evan at the same time)
Zoey: You never assumed I was crazy. Gave me the benefit of the doubt. Most people wouldn't have, Hank.
Hank: Yeah, well, more people should be like us. And less people should be like most people.
Evan: We're broke.
Hank: What do you mean broke?
Evan: I mean depleted, destitute, insolvent.
Hank: I was asking for an explanation, not a thesaurus.
Hank: Just know that Evan and I are here to stay, and there's always, always a place for you here with Hankmed, no matter what.
Divya: Well, I appreciate that. And I'll let you know what my future holds, as soon as my parents decide it for me.
Evan: Well, maybe negotiations will still fall apart last minute. Maybe your dad'll raise the dowry to five goats and a donkey and Raj'll call it a deal-breaker.
Divya: Hmm. Maybe you're the donkey.
Zoey: Remember when I said I was too afraid to go see a doctor?
Zoey: If I'd known there was a doctor out there like you, I might've found the courage.
Evan: If I got bit by a bat, what's gonna happen to me?
Hank: All right. Worst case scenario, you die. Best case scenario, you become immortal.
So do you think I'm gonna turn into, like, a, an old school Bela Lugosi type or maybe, like, a hip, sexy Twilight vampire with like the (puckers lips and makes kissy face) and, like, the cool hair or what?Evan
(to Hank and Evan) Anyway, I am so glad that you both came...'cause I may need you to stand by with a getaway vehicle.Divya