Schmigadoon!
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Schmigadoon! Season 1 Episode 1: "Schmigadoon!" Quotes
Josh: I usually give it a kick.
Melissa: Oh, really?
Josh: Yeah. Right there. I could do it for you if you'd like.
Melissa: Nah, I've been doing all my own kicking since third grade.
What, so one kick and, apparently, MAGIC?
Melissa
Marv: So, what is the Sacred Heart Love Trail all about? Well, six years ago, Joanna and I took a look around we were super bummed. All these relationships falling apart. Heartbreak out there on the planet.
Joanna: So Marv and I created a way for couples to disconnect from the world and reconnect with each other.
Marv: Before we head out, there's a couple of items that we've provided.
Joanna: In your love bags! The most important is a heart, carved out of sacred Chippewa stone with your name on it. We asked that you give this to your partner every day and think about that really means. To give your heart to someone.
Feel free to explore but don't wander too far from the trail. There's no cell service here in the wild and we don't want anyone dying out there. Seriously. People died last time.
Marv
Josh: Mel!
Melissa: Leave me alone!
Josh: All I said is that we should bail on the hike. I didn't mean us in general. I just meant the hike.
Josh: You're pissed off at me for some reason.
Melissa: For some reason?
Josh: Okay.
Melissa: You lost my heart! I gave you my heart and you lost it.
Josh: Mel, it was a ROCK.
Melissa: It was a metaphor!
Josh: All right. So, what? Do you want me to go look for it? Ok, I'll do it. I will search this whole forest for that one, vaguely heart-shaped rock. Is that what you want?
Melissa: Yeah.
Josh: Babe, it's a ROCK.
Josh: I don't know what the point of this is at all.
Melissa: You don't want to make our relationship better?
Josh: Our relationship is fine. It's... fine. I mean, why does everything have to be perfect? Why can't it just be enough?
Josh: What's with all the fake plants?
Melissa: Maybe they're conserving water.
Melissa: What? It's charming.
Josh:Charming? It's Wicker Man.
Josh: You know how much I hate musicals. People don't just burst into song in real life.
Melissa: Well, you seem okay with magical hammers that come back when you call them.
Josh: That's totally different. Thor is the god of thunder and, of course, Mjolnir comes back when he calls.
Mayor Menlove: You'll be staying at the Schmigadoon Inn, of course,
Florence: Oh, you'll love it. Aloysius and I stayed there on our honeymoon. Although we didn't get much sleep that night. On account of all the roosters out back.
