Schmigadoon!
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Schmigadoon! Season 1 Quotes
Stop moping! You are gorgeous. You'll find someone else in no time.
Widow Lopez
It's extraordinary, really. One can be convinced they are the smartest person in town and yet still miss the most important detail.
Emma
Danny Bailey: Well, well, well. I've walked these woods all my life. This is the first time I've come across a six-foot snake.
Josh: Six-one, actually. And my BMI's nineteen.
Josh: You need to forgive your sister. Your mother. This whole thing is very Chinatown.
Carson: What?
Josh: It's a movie
Carson: Like Airbud?
Josh: Not like Airbud.
Thank you for your support. I am honored to be Schmigadoon's first openly gay... anything!
Aloysius
Mildred: What are you doing?
Melissa: I know what it's like to want to fix everyone around you and think that's the only way to be happy. But it's not. You have to learn to let go.
Oh no, is this a dream ballet? No, no, we're not having a dream ballet. Okay? They're annoying and stupid. They slow everything down. Nobody likes a dream ballet. Nobody!
Melissa
I love this town. Y'all know my great-great-grand-daddy founded Schmigadoon when he came upon this beautiful tract of land and said, 'They'll never find us here.'
Mildred Layton
I tried to alert the mayor but his mind was elsewhere. In his pants! His poor wife is so ashamed, she locked herself inside her house. And this time, on purpose.
Mildred Layton
Doc Lopez: Melissa, this is The Countess, Gabriele Von Blerkom. She also invented stainless steel!
The Countess: Jorge, please. I dabble in alumino-thermic reduction processes, and I got lucky.
Doc Lopez: My number one of the day... Well, it was me. I was a horrible doctor.
Melissa: No! Although, maybe you could prescribe less radium water.
Josh: I really need to get back to New York.
Emma: But you can't! I mean, it isn't safe. It's filled with gambling and crime and poor souls who've tried to make it big but can't go back home because of foolish pride.
Josh: See, that's what I love about New York.
