It's not my fault that because somebody is killing Kappas I didn't have time to individually bribe each and every one of you to vote for me!

Chanel

Chin up, Chanel. At least you wore something nice today. Remember to smile for your mugshot, it'll be on Gawker by sundown. Oh my god, I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst! They'll know I'm guilty!

Chanel

It smell like booty in here.

Denise Hemphill

So why are you baking toenail cookies and giving them to children? Why are you hurting them instead of Chanel?

Hester

Sorry. Not sorry.

Dean Munsch

I saw a girl last year dressed as Slutty Al-Qaeda!

Chad Radwell

That is such a Mary Todd Lincoln thing to say.

Chanel

I told you money was no object. I am gross rich, Cliff!

Chanel

Listen, there are real bodies of real dead people. And there's a guy in an ice cream cone nailed to the wall, bless his heart. Please send help! Sweet baby Jesus.

Zayday

Wow. Those cotton balls do not provide much energy, do they?

Chanel #3

I'm as skinny as Karen Carpenter in the morgue and Chad Radwell still won't commit to me. I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade but I refuse to die hungry.

Chanel

Denise Hemphill: Happy Halloween, Zayday. I hope you have a good time at your haunted party and get to murder lots of folks. Just remember: Denise Hemphill has her eyes on you.

Scream Queens Quotes

Zayday: Hey, girl, can I just ask you... what's up with your outfit?
Gigi: My therapist says I had a traumatic experience that kept part of my psyche forever trapped in the 90's but I'm like, uh, I'll take it!

Chanel #5: You have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.
Chanel Oberlin: I'm sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt? Nobody likes a suck-up, Chanel #5.