And believe me, Brock, no one understands you like I do. I will always be there for you, and I will always let you attack my crack. Even when I've had a really large meal and I'm unsure of what you might encounter up there.


Oh my god! The Chanels are impossible to kill. It's almost like their narcissism and stupidity create some kind of a forcefield around them.

Nurse Hoffel

Cassidy: I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Chanel #3: Yeah. Thanks for not killing me.

Wes: Crap. You guys are gonna kill me, aren't you?
Hoffel: Any last words?
Wes: Playlist.

  • Permalink: Playlist.
  • Added:

I heard enough. I'm sorry your husband died and it made you sad. But can't you see the major logic fail in closing down a hospital that is actually curing people? Isn't that what you were so upset about in the first place? No one who worked at the hospital back then still works there. You're mad at architecture and geography. It would be like murdering all the guests at a Hilton hotel just because you got bummed out listening to Paris' awful song.

Chanel #3

She describes herself on Facebook as "pansexual," which as far as I can tell is just bisexual for millennials who want even more attention.

Jane [about Chanel #3]

Wes: Look, Hoffel, I will give you #5, #7, #8, and #3.
Cassidy: Whoa, whoa! #3 is mine.
Wes: Hey, can it, Cascade! Look, that's 5, 7, 8, and 3. All I want is Chanel. That's four Chanels for the price of one.

Looks like we're gonna need to call a Green Meanie summit.


Chanel #3: Last one to the Starbucks down the street buys lattes?
Chanel #5: The last one to the Starbucks down the street is dead!

Hester: Dad! Nurse Hoffel!
Wes: Don't call me that, okay? It's so embarrassing...

Whoa. That's a lot of tumor. Right, America?

Chanel #3 [into the camera]

Chanel #5 [crying]: I'm a genius and nobody cares.
Chanel: Damn it, Number 5, shut up!

Scream Queens Quotes

Zayday: Hey, girl, can I just ask you... what's up with your outfit?
Gigi: My therapist says I had a traumatic experience that kept part of my psyche forever trapped in the 90's but I'm like, uh, I'll take it!

Chanel #5: You have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.
Chanel Oberlin: I'm sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt? Nobody likes a suck-up, Chanel #5.