Scrubs Season 2 Episode 3: "My Case Study" Quotes
Dr. Cox: Congratulations. You get to represent the Kelso Kennel Club at the big show in Reno. Just remember when you are posing and prancing in from of the judges to keep that shaved behind of yours held up nice and high like the proud little puppy that you are. And when it comes time to hand out those blue ribbons, it will be such an exciting time for you, it really will be, but for the love of God newbie, you gotta try-try-try not to squeeze out a dookie on the astroturf, because ah-I mean God forbid you were every an embarassment to master pop right?
J.D.: You know I don't care what you think.
Dr. Cox: Yeah you do.
J.D.: I know
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Roberts. I just saw your patient in 106, and I've decided that the next time you place an IV and actually hit the vein on the first try, I'm gonna crack open a bottle of bubbly. I mean, my God, woman, the man looks like Al Jarreau was his nurse.
Dr. Kelso: Isn't he the blind fellow?
Laverne: You mean Ray Charles?
Dr. Kelso: Dammit. Anyway, you're incompetent.
Laverne: Easy, Laverne. You're a saved woman!
Carla: Don't worry. Remember tomorrow's his wedding anniversary.
Elliot: Why does that matter?
Dr. Cox: 'Cause right about tomorrow, Bob Kelso will be sweeter than flowers dipped in honey.
Dr. Wen: Which is why every year we use this time as an opportunity to ask him for anything our department needs. Like equipment.
Carla: Or an extra nurse on weekends.
Todd: Or a Slip 'n Slide! Who's with me?
Elliot: Carla, do you think we'd hang out as much if it weren't for J.D. and Turk?
Carla: Uhhhh... Probably not. I mean, they are the one thing we have most in common.
Elliot: We have a lot in common! I mean, we both have a hard time digesting dairy!
Carla: You're right! Do you want to be my maid of honor?
Carla: Elliot. I don't know why you're tying to force this. We're fine! I gotta get back to work.
Elliot: We both work
Elliot: You're still stuck on your first impression of me: That I am some narrow-minded, spoiled brat.
Carla: Elliot, not now, okay?
Elliot: When I was a kid, I was really close with my maid.
Carla: That's it. So you think that you totally get my whole experience because you spent time with a Latina woman who cleaned your house?
Elliot: What are you talking about? Our maid was white.
Carla: What was her name?
Janitor: Hey, do me a favor: Hold my place in line.
J.D.: For how long?
Janitor: Uhh, I don't know.
J.D.: Well, why? What do you have to do?
Janitor: Nothin'. Might just veg
Mrs. Kellerman: Look, I've been self-conscious my whole life; and I finally got the courage. Besides, can you two honestly say there's not one thing you'd change about yourself if you could?
Carla: I can honestly say that.
Elliot: Me too.
Mrs. Kellerman: Then you're both liars!
Todd: Hey, Mrs. K. Let's get you into a fresh pair of blouse bunnies
Carla: If you were to change one thing about my physical appearance, what would it be?
Turk: You're testing me. I get it!
Carla: Now, if I were to be really honest with myself, I would change everything. What do you think?
Turk: Why don't we just skip what I think and jump straight ahead to not having sex for a month?
J.D.: Look, I wanna be like you... but a more successful you. There's nothing wrong with playing the game once in a while. Tell you what: Ten years form now, when I'm your boss, I'll go ahead and throw in a good word for you and you won't even have to ask... sir