Scrubs Season 3 Episode 12: "My Catalyst" Quotes
Dr. Cox: Okay, class! We have a guest with us at rounds today, happens to be an old friend of yours truly, so let's all go out of our way to treat him with the respect he deserves. Nnnnnnnn'kay?
Dr. Casey: Hey, gang. My name is Dr. Kevin Cas-
Dr. Cox: Anyway! I thought we'd change things up a little bit today - instead of me firing questions at you, I'd like to see you all scurry away and get your text books. And when you get back, you actually get to quiz us. A little harmless competition, if my colleague here will consent to it?
Dr. Casey(yawns): I'm sorry; are you done with the speechifying?... I'm kidding, you frightening bastard!
Doug: I'm sorry, J.D., I just don't think pirates are cool.
J.D.: Well then you're not cool, Doug!
Dr. Cox: Oh, maybe Kevin being here is making me regress. I mean, you realize that back when I was a resident, I was a kind lad.
Carla: You get out.
Dr. Cox: I know. But soon enough I established myself as the best damn doctor that ever roamed around these filthy halls; which is a curse, actually, because now I'm expected to make eye contact with every insult to medicine that comes into this dump.
J.D.: Here's that CT scan you ordered!
Dr. Cox: Thank. You.
J.D.'s Narration: Eye contact! He respects me!
Dr. Casey: All right, all six of your butt cheeks just, uh, tightened up.
Dr. Cox/J.D./Turk: Uh.
Dr. Casey: Someone around here pissing you guys off? 'Cause I will give 'em some attitude.
J.D.: Uhhh... (points to Ted) That guy!
Dr. Casey: Hey, Hair Club! That suit, that come with the flop sweat?
Dr. Cox: What the hell!? He's anemic and he has bone fractures, yet there's no sign of leukemia.
Carla: Don't tell me The Great One is stumped!
Dr. Cox: No. It's just that this is not exactly the kind of thing that you stick your head in on and figure out.
Dr. Casey sticks his head in the door.
Dr. Casey: He's got Gaucher's disease.
Dr. Cox: I beg your pardon?
Dr. Casey: I took the liberty of testing his blood for deficiency of beta-glucosidase.
Dr. Cox: Ohhh! I just sent out for one of those!
Carla: No you didn't!
Dr. Cox: Uh-shh!
Dr. Cox: You know, Carla, I gotta say your-your makeup today does not in any way make you look like a desperate bowling alley prostitute.
Carla: What's with the sweet talk?
Dr. Kelso: So, come on, what'd you do with all the garbage?
Janitor: That's not part of the deal... Randall. You, me, on the roof, winner takes all.
Randall: You never learn, do you?
Turk: What?
Elliot: If there is one thing I've learned at this hospital, it's that you should never antagonize your boss... or the people that make the food, because either way you end up eating poo. Hear it, learn it, live it.
Turk: Dr. Wen! Can I ask you a question? Was my time on the lap-chole even faster than yours?
Dr. Wen: Yes, it was.
Turk: Because some of the guys were saying I totally kicked your ass and I wanted them to shut up, you know if it wasn't true, but since it is, I'll just let it go.
Dr. Casey: You know, I couldn't have survived in medicine if I didn't embrace my OCD. And since I was compulsive anyway, you know, I-I read the same text books over and over, I, uh, I went through the procedures over and over, I imagined every worst-case scenario over and over and over and over and over and over and over-
J.D.: Dr. Casey.
Dr. Casey: -and over and over and over-
J.D.: Dr. Casey!
Dr. Casey: Dr. Kevin Casey.
J.D.: Oh.
Dr. Casey: Thank you.
J.D.: I'm more skittish.
Dr. Casey: Yeah, you know, you're like a big squirrel.
J.D.: I wish a was a swashbuckling doctor. You know... like a pirate.
J.D.'s Narration: Enough about pirates! Wait until you know him better.
Dr. Casey: Ahoy, there.
J.D.: You going to the, uh... O.Arrr? Heh.
J.D.'s Narration: I said enough!
Turk: Cool trick.
Dr. Casey: Yeah, you should try it. It's good for dexterity, concentration... and convincing single women you're a power-dork.
