Scrubs Season 3 Episode 19: "My Choosiest Choice of All" Quotes
Irv: I'm sorry, sir. But there's no parking allowed at the emergency curb. But I'd be happy to park your car for ya, and run the keys up to you in a jiff.
Guy: Yeah... Except this is my only set? And I'm afraid you might eat them. Okay? See ya, tubs.
J.D.: What should I do?
J.D.'s Narration: That was a huge mistake. Because the closer Turk and Carla got to their wedding, the more they became one of those annoying couples that thought they knew everything about relationships.
Turk/Carla: Look, J.D...
Turk: You first, honey.
Carla: J.D., love is like a butterfly. Hold it too tight and... you'll crush it.
Turk: Too loose and it flies away.
J.D.: She's already back with Sean.
Carla: How soon after you guys hooked up?
J.D.: About ninety seconds.
Turk: Dude, ignore her. That's three years in a row - who's feeling you?
J.D.: You be.
I was so mad at Elliot I couldn't sleep last night. Also Danni snores like a gutted wild bore, but mostly it was the Elliot thing.
J.D.'s narration
J.D.: (To Sean, who is kissing Elliot) You've got something on your face.
Sean: What?
J.D.'s narration: The love of my life.
J.D.: You got it.
Carla: Now I'm gonna let my husband-to-be tell you what life's really all about, because he has more of this than any man I know.
Turk: Archie comics?
Carla: No, the other thing.
Turk: Oh, that's right - integrity.
Elliot: Oh, you seem real crushed! I mean, you jumped into bed with Danni so quick you didn't have time to change the sheets!
J.D.: You know I only have one set.
Elliot: Look, J.D., can I ask you a favor?
J.D.: Could I ask you one?
Elliot: Sure, anything. What is it?
J.D.'s Narration: Damn, I don't have one.
Carla: Turk, he wants to be with Dr. Miller because he thinks it'll make him what?
Turk: Happy.
Carla: Exactly. But he's really only happy when he's...?
Turk: Miserable.
Carla: Right! So why does he really want to be with Dr. Miller?
Turk: 'Cause she got big-ass boobies!
Carla: No, no, no. Because he likes being miserable.
J.D.: Hey, you wanna play darts?
Danni: Sure!
J.D.: Great! Have fun, I'll be over here.
Danni: Do you even enjoy spending time with me?
J.D.: "Enjoy" is such a strong word... I...I'm used to it. You know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism.
Look, I honestly don't think that going to some dive bar is necessarily appropriate for somebody who just had kidney surgery. Although, don't get me wrong, the fact that it seems to be pissing you off so much is the true definition of an added perk. Seriously, you can-you can look it up in the dictionary. It's under "P" for "perk". It's right next to "pain in the ass" and, curiously enough, your picture is right next to it.
Dr. Cox
Carla: Look at you in your new uniform! And they give you a nightstick!
Janitor: Well, actually, this is my dad's. He used to use this baby every day at work.
Turk: Was he a cop?
Janitor: Uh, no, cat trainer.
