Scrubs Season 3 Episode 20: "My Fault" Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: In the heat of battle, it's important to hold your ground.
Mr. Corman: Doctor.
Dr. Cox: Well, now, Bobbo, you hooked him, you got him in the boat, but he still got away!
J.D.'s Narration: Because victory can be snatched away at the last second.
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Corman, your full body scan is on the house.
Mr. Corman: I'm listening.
Janitor: For three years I've been watching you pine after Blonde Doctor, and I gotta tell you, everyone is sick of it - "Will they? Won't they? Looks like they're going to! Oooh, the last second, something might- oooh oooh oooh!" Come on! Enough already! I mean, you guys aren't exactly Ross and Rachel.
J.D.: Who?
Janitor: Dr. Ross, and Rachel from Bookkeeping.
J.D.: Mmm.
Janitor: Why don't you just let her be happy with... stunningly handsome, full-lipped guy.
Turk: Baby, I don't get it. Last night I was the golden boy, and now I'm fat flap guy. Why would Dr. Miller turn on me? I've been great in surgery, I've been nice to her... she's coming to the wedding!
Carla: No, she's not.
Turk: What?
Carla: I un-invited her.
Dr. Cox: Not yet, you don't.
Mr. Corman: For Pete's sake... Will you leave me alone?
Dr. Cox: Look! This baby would mess with a normal person's mind. So please hear me when I say that if you get this scan, it will ruin you. The next year of your life is gonna be a series of endless tests, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep that from happening to you. Even if it means giving you free medical treatment the rest of your life.
Mr. Corman: How can I believe that you even care about me?
Dr. Kelso comes in.
Dr. Kelso: How are we doing, Mr. Corman?
Dr. Cox: Oh, uh, Bob. We, uh, we just had our scan. You win.
Dr. Kelso: And...?
Dr. Kelso holds his hand up and Dr Cox kisses his ring.
Dr. Kelso: Now, Perry, I know that was our first date, but next time, don't be afraid to put a little feeling into it.
Baker: Miss Espinosa, it was a little difficult changing your cake at the last minute, but I was able to make it non-dairy like you requested.
Carla: My Uncle Ramon thanks you, and the rest of the people at table 3 thank you even more.
Dr. Cox: Listen to me! I am not losing a bet to Bob Kelso!
Mr. Corman: All this concern about my health and my well-being, and it's about a bet!? You know what, that's a pretty reprehensible thing to do! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a full body scan to take!... You drove me here. I'd like to see a dessert menu, please.
Mr. Corman: Listen, I appreciate the lunch. But are you actually trying to convince me, an admittedly frugal hypochondriac, not to get a free full body scan?
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not dying of anything! Although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions I will be forced to kill you.
Mr. Corman: Well, look who never learned to share.
Carla: Okay, why are you mad? You told me to un-invite people!
Turk: So, without asking, you went to my new boss and told her you didn't want her to come to the wedding.
Carla: Nooo. I told her we didn't want her to come.
Mr. Corman: Hey, what's going on?
Dr. Cox: Zip it. I know a shortcut.
Mr. Corman: Help! I'm getting chair-jacked!
Thanks for the lift. Because, for some reason on Tuesdays, my feet just swell up like Jiffy Pop bags. I'm sure it'll show up on the scan. Oh, if anything turns up green, it's probably an emerald that I swallowed from my mother's jewelry box when I was five. Gee, I'd like to get that back to her...
Mr. Corman
Elliot: You guys! Guess what. I just asked Sean if he would move in with me and... tell 'em what you said!
Sean: "Yes!"
Elliot: Isn't that great!
Janitor: That is great! Isn't that great?
J.D.'s Narration: Full-lipped bastard.
Dr. Miller: Now this is your big shot, so if you don't want me to throw you out of here, you've gotta get through this whole procedure without making a single sex joke.
Todd: No problem.
Dr. Miller: All right, to really get at this, I think we need to go in from behind.
Cut to...
Dr. Miller: AND STAY OUT!
Todd: Totally worth it!
