Jordan: Sweetie, you can't take this personally. He's a doctor - they don't listen to anyone.
Dr. Cox: Please don't lump us all together with numb-nuts over here.

J.D.: Then what is it?
Danni: Last night I told you I was falling in love with you. And you know what you said?
J.D.: "Thank you"?
Danni: You asked me if I wanted to go get pizza.
J.D.: No... Pineapple pizza.

J.D.: Look, Danni, I know you're upset about your sister and I-
Danni: J.D., if I didn't go out with the guys my sister slept with, I wouldn't have even had a date to the prom.

Hey, everybody. This place has dynamite lamb.


J.D.: Wanna hear a great letter?
Jill: No.

Jill: Always fun to be in the bathroom listening to people talk so clearly, you're sure they just heard you pee. You did, didn't you.
J.D.: You start and stop a lot.
Dr. Cox: Lovely.

Dr. Cox is reading a letter from J.D.
J.D.: Dear Dr. Cox, I think it's important that you know how much I care for Danni, and how hurt I was by your attempt to sabotage our relationship.
Dr. Cox: Oh, de-de-de-isn't it enough that I'm reading it!?
J.D.: Oh, I'm sorry.

Dr. Dorian, Dr. Turk is free for his rectal exam. He said you'd know what that means.


Turk: The point is, baby, whatever happens with this patient, it's on my shoulders; and it's the same with Elliot and you know that. That's what makes your relationship so complicated. Outside this hospital, yeah, you're the boss of Elliot... and... well, you know... you're the boss of me and... baby, you're the boss of everyone - but in this building, Elliot's in charge.
Carla: Am I really the boss of everybody outside of here?
Turk: Baby, you the boss of everybody in the world.

Carla: Can you believe that Elliot, giving me all that attitude?
Turk: You know, two weeks ago an O.R. nurse with like twenty years experience started telling me I was tying the wrong suture.
Carla: But I bet you listened to her, right?
Turk: Nah, I kicked her ass out the O.R.! Heh!
Carla: But I bet you were nice about it? Right?
Turk: No, I made her cry.

J.D.: Hey, you should know your little cheap shot didn't land, because Danni isn't mad at me at all... Hey, Baby! You comin' to give pop-pop some candy? 'Cause I'm hungry!
Danni ignores him and boards the elevator.
J.D.: Oh-okay, later's fine too.
Dr. Cox: Oh, yeah. I mean, I can-I can feel the love all over!

Dr. Cox: Well, we sent some haz-mat guys over to your apartment, but they said there were no signs of pesticides.
J.D.: They also said you mixed art deco with Indonesian antiques. I think that is so daring!
Jill: Aww.
Dr. Cox: Reel it in, Queer Eye.

Scrubs Season 3 Episode 7 Quotes

Janitor(over PA): A quick note for all my comatose listeners out there: all your lovers have moved on. But, if it's any consolation, my sources tell me they're happy. Well, snooze, you lose.

J.D.: So say it again.
Danni: No, you have to earn it.
J.D.: I'll try.
They kiss deeply
Dr. Cox: Oh, for God's sake, we're watching a movie here.
Jordan: Shh!
Dr. Cox: Kill me.