Scrubs Season 3 Episode 17: "My Moment of Un-Truth" Quotes
Turk: So I'm supposed to marry someone who's gonna bust my chops every time I look at a woman for the rest of my life?
J.D.: Well, I wouldn't put it that way in your vows.
J.D.'s Narration: Stay calm. Turk's never gonna find out about her date.
Turk: Hey!
J.D.'s Narration: AGGH!
Turk: You got a minute to talk?
J.D.: I got lots of time to talk. Do you wanna talk about anything? Anything? Hours to talk. We could talk about our feelings. Wh-what's up?
Elliot: You know what's amazing about you? You have this unbelievable ability to make me doubt myself.
Dr. Cox: I don't think I could possibly make you doubt yourself, ya rascal, unless you had the unnatural talent for being wrong most of the time.
Ohhh, great! You're getting medication for your pain patient! But, say, why stop there? How's about we load up our fanny packs with happy pills, drive downtown, I'll hang out of the sun-roof, and we can just throw fistfuls of 'em right at drug addicts and it'll just be a big happy parade!
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Uncool!
Turk: What were you thinking about?
J.D.: What you'd look like if you were Chinese...?
Turk: Me too!
J.D.'s Narration: Hoo! That was lucky!
Carla: Look, I would never do anything inappropriate.
J.D.: Then you won't mind if I tell Turk!
Carla: If you have to, go ahead. But! Then I'll know that we're not as close as I thought!
She rattles her Mardi Gras beads
J.D.: Damn beads...
J.D.: What the hell just happened?
Carla: I don't know! He asked me out to dinner and I said yes! It just came out!
J.D.: Shame!
Carla: Look! Everyone thinks it's just guys who get all freaked out before the wedding, but it happens to women too! And Ronnie-
J.D.: "Ronnie"?
Carla: "Ron." Ron - he's not just some guy, J.D. He's my "what if?" guy. The one I always wondered about, the one I idealized, you know? If I go out with him and I feel nothing, you know how confident I'll feel about Turk?
J.D.: Now I want you to go. You know what that means?
J.D.'s Narration: That she's a sorceress!
Dr. Ramirez: So what do you say?
J.D.'s Narration: And you just hate to see anyone get crushed... Even Dr. Hot Butt.
Carla: Sure! That sounds great!
J.D.'s Narration: I'm sorry, what?
Elliot: Laverne, did you pull up Mr. Thompson's old charts?
Laverne: He was here like eight years ago complaining of the same abdominal pain, but as soon as he was given his pain medication, he went AMA.
Elliot: What, he just took the drugs and bolted?
Laverne: No... He took some towels, too.
J.D.: Hey, Carla, after you check Mr. Ruck's IV in room 310, can you zip down to the cafeteria and flirt more with Dr. Hot Butt?
Carla: Fine. So I was flirting with him a little. But... I used to have such a crush on the guy! And besides, you flirt sometimes. It's harmless, right?
Flashback to an elevator
Woman: Can I press your button?
J.D.: I don't know... Can I press yours?
The woman starts whacking him with her purse, causing him to fall to the floor, and continues to get beaten
End Flashback
J.D.: Not always harmless.
Roscoe/Janitor: Naghhey! Any sign of my brother? The janitor?
Turk: Dude, there is no way that we'll ever, ever believe this one.
Roscoe/Janitor: Could someone say "keep rockin'"?
J.D.'s Narration: I guess you can never underestimate how the smallest gesture can make everything better.
J.D.: You know, for a minute there I actually thought you had a twin brother.
Janitor: Really?
J.D.: Mm.
Janitor: Was it when my twin brother was here?
J.D.: Stop it.
