Janitor: After college I went to China. Did all the normal touristy things: I saw the Great Wall, ate the food, had a baby with a local.. you know, just the regular stuff!

Jordan: Helping someone move is like oral sex: you do it once and then they owe you for life!

Turk: Well, I'm sorry. I didn't get how this baby-making stuff could be sexy. But I do now.
Carla: Well, you know, Turk, I can get angry if you give me a little help.
Turk: If you had no hair, you'd look like Danny DeVito.
Carla: Aw, Turk, a little help.

Paige: I beat you at Horse, he has a church wedding.
Dr. Cox: Done.
(Paige throws basketball backwards and sinks a shot into the net)
Paige: That went in, didn't it?
Dr. Cox: Did you thank the G-Man for that?
Paige: That was all me, baby.

Turk: I just don't understand why we can't have fun while making a baby.
Carla: I am just so glad you have to hurt my feelings to have fun.
Turk: I can't believe you! Wha- Calm down!
Carla: Great, that's really nice for you. "Calm down"? I'm gonna kill you!
Turk: (Looking towards the church ceiling) You hear that? She's gonna kill me! Get her.

J.D.: Still, I've never known you to judge a person based on their beliefs. In fact, you're pretty tolerant of everyone. Except Hugh Jackman.
Dr. Cox: Meh.

Dr. Cox: By the way, if you want, Jack's birthday is in the spring... sometime.
Paige: March 21st.

Scrubs Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Turk: Well, I'm sorry. I didn't get how this baby-making stuff could be sexy. But I do now.
Carla: Well, you know, Turk, I can get angry if you give me a little help.
Turk: If you had no hair, you'd look like Danny DeVito.
Carla: Aw, Turk, a little help.

Dr. Cox: By the way, if you want, Jack's birthday is in the spring... sometime.
Paige: March 21st.