Scrubs Season 3 Episode 14: "My Screw Up" Quotes
So Jordan tells me that while you were on your world leukemia tour, you neglected to visit a single doctor, medicine man, or scary shaman with the giant saucers in his ears. Psst. Ben. Turns out cancer's the kind of ailment that you occasionally want to check up on!
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: What's weird is that its taken my best friend so long to come and see my son. I mean you get diagnosed with leukemia and then you disappear for two years. What is that about?
Ben: Well, it went into remission and I wanted to see the world in all its splendor and glory.
Dr. Cox. How'd that go for you?
Ben: Ehh. Got some good picture though. Here check it out. Look. Here's me at the Great Wall of China. This is me at the pyramids... What is this? Oh yeah. This was you and me, like eight seconds ago.
Jordan: Anyhoo. I'm thinking that you probably shouldn't come.
J.D.: Why not?
Dr. Cox: Because her whole family is in town.
Danni: Hey J.D.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh my god! What do you say to a girl you dumped three weeks ago?
J.D.: I destroyed that video tape we made.
Jordan: What tape?
J.D.: Now I'll never meet Bob Saggat.
...in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too.
J.D.'s narration
Dr. Kelso: I'm just here to get a nasal speculum.
Carla: I just wish I didn't hate that mole so much.
Dr. Kelso: I used one of these on my wife once. She's a terrible snorer. She used to keep me up all night. I made her have the surgery but, of course, that just made things worst. But here's a twist: now, whenever she goes out the town, I can't fall asleep without the sound of that gasping, weezing woman lying right next to me. Trust me, if I ever met a Japan air-stewardess who snored like Enid I'd marry her tomorrow. But here's the point: you might find out that thing you hate so much is the very same thing you miss when it´s gone.
Carla: Thank you, sir.
Ted: Well its official. Chris left the band.
Dr. Kelso: Well Ted, you know what I think? Good riddance to him. You'll find another tenor.
Ted: Thank you sir.
Dr. Kelso: If you don't, who cares? You all stink anyway.
Elliot: Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.
Janitor: No problem. I'll check the dumpster.
Elliot: Ah, we're not looking for dead Carla.
Janitor: That a girl. You stay optimistic.
I tell you what, nothing says good morning like a drunken human alarm clock.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Now where is your camera? Aren't, aren't you going to take some pictures?
J.D.: Pictures of what?
Dr. Cox: You know. Crying babies. Covered in chocolate. People singing happy birthday to my son, who've never even met him before. You know, the whole routine.
J.D.: Where do you think we are?
Ben: I'm glad you made it. Listen. There is one more thing you have to do for me.
Dr. Cox: You can't keep me from getting drunk.
Dr. Cox: So how come you don't have to get all dressed up?
Ben: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?
Dr. Cox: Those are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen.
J.D.: You know you're right. I was an idiot to buy these shower shorts. I mean it's not like they come with a complimentary shower wallet.
