Scrubs Season 1 Episode 7: "My Super Ego" Quotes
Carla: Why would Turk talk to Elliot about this and not me anyway? They're not even friends, you know what I mean?
Dr. Cox: After twenty-five minutes, the only way I could know what you mean more is if you write "my boyfriend doesn't open up to me" on a big wooden mallet and smash me over the head with it.
Carla: Why can't you for once dig deep down in your heart, access some emotions and empathize with me.
Dr. Cox: ...I'm sorry, what were we doing?
Carla: See, that's why no one likes you. [Carla walks away]
Dr. Cox: Hey, you like me a little bit. [Pointing to Laverne] And so do you sweetcakes. Huh? You wanna a little sugar from daddy? [unscrews candy jar]
J.D.: Wait whatever happened to the guy in the restaurant?
Nick: Oh eventually I remembered I was a doctor. Course he'd been dead for 20 minutes, very embarrassing. Food was good though.
J.D.'s Narration: Don't laugh! Don't laugh!
[J.D. laughs]
J.D.'s Narration: Damn!
Elliot: You know I kinda had a date last night?
J.D.: Really?
Elliot: Yeah a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder
J.D.: You slut!
Todd: Dr. Wen threatened to sew my butt cheeks together.
Turk: And yet you continue to eat chili.
Todd: Dude I'm takin' the cheese off
Dr. Wen: So listen, I scheduled an appendectomy for you later just make sure you're good on potassium.
Turk: Sir I got so much potassium it's coming out of my assium. You know what I mean? See what I did was take the word potassium and... I dropped the first three letters... made a doody joke
Dr. Wen: Funny stuff
Dr. Cox: Nobody hurts Carla and gets away with it.
Doug: Who's Carla?
Dr. Cox: I was talking to myself. Don't eavesdrop... [quietly] If this kid doesn't leave I'm gonna kill him.
[Doug stands up]
Dr. Cox: Now if you leave I'll know you were eavesdropping and I'll just go ahead and kill ya anyway. Stay, good girl
Dr. Cox: Oh, look Carla back when I was an intern I remember the pressure being so insane that the only way I could get by was to race home and even though my wife was already asleep I'd gently wake her look her in the eyes and then I'd passive-aggressively torture her until she packed a bag and went to her mom's place for a week.
Carla: Oh.
Dr. Cox: Does that help?
Carla: Like a big hug with words
It's the scrubs, because in jeans, my butt is a force to be reckoned with!
J.D.
J.D.: How about Nick?
Elliot: Oh... I'd let him drool on me. Oh, that's gross, why did I say that? I-I shouldn't talk to people. Besides, I wouldn't know what to do even if I was interested.
J.D.: Well, you could start by looking at him.
[Elliot looks at Nick for a split second then looks back]
Elliot: Did he look back, did he like me? Why doesn't he like me? I can't believe I already blew it!
Dr. Kelso: Ahh, if it isn't the brain trust. Someone tell me what this patient's rash is. You have until I finish my squeezy-juice.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, my God, I'm drawing a... Oh, my God, I can't even remember what you draw when your mind draws a... something!
J.D.'s Narration: I think everyone's finally coming around to my way of thinking about Nick.
Carla: You're right, he definitely has a cute little butt.
Elliot: Oh, it's almost like it's been sculpted.
J.D.: Who cares? Everybody's got a cute butt; I have a cute butt.
Carla: You should bring it in someday
Good afternoon, doctors. I've gathered you all here because, well, attendance at my new conferences has been very disappointing. In fact, I've begun to wonder if maybe you have something more important to do. Maybe you feel the need to sneak off and have a little nappy-nap. I love nappy-naps. Or... maybe you've forgotten that my conferences are mandatory!
Dr. Kelso