Scrubs Season 3 Episode 15: "My Tormented Mentor" Quotes
Todd: Gotta grab those.
Dr. Kelso: No!
Staffer: Ugh!
Dr. Kelso: Remember, we look... but we don't touch.
Todd: Okay.
Oh, would you turn off the lights? The baby doesn't know I'm here. Doesn't matter. Likes the nanny better than me anyway.
Jordan
Dr. Cox: My point is that in this tight-ass PC culture, it is damn hard to know what's kosher!
Carla: Well, then you should try stepping into our shoes! Even the strongest women walk around with this thick coat of armor all day long, because God forbid we should show the slightest sign of weakness. So just squeeze those smelly, oversized feet into the shoes of someone you really care about; and trust me, in a heartbeat you will know the right thing to do.
Elliot: I love her! Turk, do you know what I would give to have a female attending like her pushing me not to let the fact that I'm a woman hold me back? I mean... you have no idea how hard it is.
Turk: I have no idea?
Elliot: Look, I'm not gonna fight about whether in medicine it's harder being black or a woman.
Turk: Black!
Elliot: Woman!
A black female doctor passes them.
Turk: Much prop, Dr. Rhodes.
Elliot: Mm.
Turk: Go get 'em.
Turk: Well?
Elliot: I hate to quote my mother, but Dr. Miller is so uptight she could use a pitcher of martinis and an afternoon on top of a smooth-chested pool-boy.
Dr. Cox: Fine. You want some straight shootin'? I'm glad that you're dealing with Ben's death so well. The fact is I'm strugglin'. And having those two harpies nesting in our home is not helping. For the life of me, Jordan, I cannot figure out why they're still here. It is beyond me!
J.D.: You okay?
Jordan: Why don't you grow a pair, Sally!
J.D.: Oh, oka-that's going in the box. Girl's names are out. That's why we have a box.
Dr. Cox: Spill.
J.D.: Dr. Cox had nothing to do with me going to see your scary friends. I did it all on my own.
Jordan: I love how adult our relationship is!
Dr. Cox is chasing J.D. around the hospital
J.D.'s Narration: Yes! He fell! I'm gonna get away!... You know who I haven't seen today?
The Janitor pokes his head out a doorway clotheslines J.D.
J.D.: Ook! Waaagh!
Janitor: You lookin' for that?
Dr. Cox: Like you read about.
Dr. Reid! I've seen you strutting around this place with your can-do attitude, and I know that you think because you're a female doctor, you're part of the solution. But you're not. Everything about you screams, "What does the cutie in Radiology think about me?" And yes, your friend Dr. Turk, he may ask you relationship advice or where to get his unfortunate girlfriend some naughty lingerie - because we both know that when it comes to gifts, women all crave a nice leather push-up bra with tassels that go around and around and around like this - but still, I ask you, is that respect?... Uh, don't answer. I don't care!
Dr. Miller
Elliot: Look, Dr. Turk is a really good friend of mine, and he is not a sexist. And I know sexist. I mean, when my dad's not asking the maid for a neck-rub, he's telling me if I'm going to get emotional, I should do it in a closet because no one likes to see a hysterical woman.
Dr. Miller: There's a closet right there!
Elliot: I know, it's one of my favorites...
Elliot: Dr. Miller, hi! You, uh, look very nice today.
Dr. Miller: Thanks! My patient just died, but if I'm looking good, I'm psyched!
Elliot: No, no. It's just that you work in a very tough specialty, and you manage to maintain your femininity and I find that very... um... sexy.
Dr. Miller: Are you asking me out on a date?
Elliot: Please! We just met!... Not that it would make a difference if we hadn't...
Dr. Cox: You know, honey, I'm-I'm here now, if you-if you want your friends to leave.
Jordan: We're getting chemical peels tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Oh. Okay.
