Lucy: They say that by the end of yoru first semester of med school, it's obvious what kind of doctor you'll become.
Cox: Him?
Turk: Who? Trang?
Cox: Small hands, great with the ladies? OB/GYN.
Turk: More like a shopping mall pretzel vendor.

Cox: About as ridiculous as your five o'clock shadow. There's times I'm doing rounds and I feel like I'm teaching Yasser Arafat.
Denise: Really? I see a slightly gayer George Michael.
Cox: Oh, I so see that.
Drew: Could you please be more alike?

Denise: What's going on? You texted that someone was coding in here.
Dr. Cox: You texted me, "come and show me your boobs."
Drew: I may have switched those texts, which does raise the question, why did you come, Dr. Cox?

Cole [impersonating Lucy]: I think horses should go into space.
Lucy: I never said that. Why would I want fewer horses on Earth? That's crazy.

Thanks again Turkleton for giving me the lift. Hitching rides with the students was not working out. The constant stops at keg parties and strip clubs. They just weren't into them. Hey, nobody hustles Kelso while in the champagne room. That is my house.

Kelso

Set my DVR to record The Big Bang Theory. The whole world is watching this thing and I need to know why.

Cox

You have no idea how many times I've been out late and had to pass on my seventh drink. No more Mr. Responsible.

Kelso

Lucy, it's not cancer cancer. That kind of cancer is for uglies and people who put laptops on their balls.

Cole

Check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag, I'm like a hamster yo.

Cole

That's exactly what Trang needed. Driving back and forth in the parking lot, reinforcing every stereotype of Asian drivers.

Denise

Dr. Cox: Hey talking man baby, come here. I am parked in the ten minute parking zone.
Trang: You want me to move your car?
Dr. Cox: No, I love the space. What I want you to do is pull out of and then back into the space every ten minutes. If you get bored, here's a deck of cards and a ball.

J.D.: I was going to make you dinner and then go to karaoke but I don't know how to do both the same night...Unless of course...
Elliot: J.D., not floating head doctor.
J.D.: Too late, I'm already there.

Scrubs Quotes

Turk: All right, Elliot, at the presentation I was wondering, can I do the ending? Because I really love the ending of our paper.
Elliot: Do you think I'm cut out to be a doctor?
Turk: Okay, fine, you can do the ending. I just want to say, "Thanks, folks! We've been great!"
Elliot: I'm serious. Do you think this is what I really want to do?
Turk: Elliot, I don't know.
Elliot: You can tell me. I can take it.
Turk: No, Elliot, I'm saying I don't know because I really don't know. What the hell is going on here? Why have all women gone crazy?

Ah, checking Mr. Countertop's heart rate. (Slams a pack of paper on the countertop, hurting Keith's ears) Memories. Do you know that once, Dr. Cox made me give every air conditioning unit in this hospital a pap smear? The wacky thing is room 403 did have some yeast issues.

</i> J.D.