Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
Turk: You're making a big mistake.
J.D.: Come on, man. Elliot and I are like best friends. We love hanging out with each other. Maybe that's love. I mean, who-who knows what love really is?
Turk: I do. J.D., when I look at Carla, I see the future. I see kids, I see minivans, I see a beer gut - on me, of course, not her.
J.D.: I hope so.
Dr. Cox: Those pants make your ass look giant.
Jordan: Stop doing this.
Dr. Cox: I'm doing it for us. You suck at Scrabble.
Jordan: Do I look mad?
Dr. Cox: You got so much Botox in your expressionless face, I can't tell.
Carla: Turk! We're getting married tomorrow!
Turk: Yeah....
Carla: Why aren't you excited?
Turk: 'Cause, baby, we've been here for an hour and you've already said it like thirteen times.
Carla: But we're getting married tomorrow!!!
Turk: I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. Yeah, like you got right now! Just like that one! I love that you're the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.
J.D.: Turk!
Turk: Dude, I'm workin' here. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's our rehearsal dinner. I came here tonight because, when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Carla: Turk.
Turk: Yeah, baby?
Carla: That's the speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'.
Marco! The invite says no dates, man! NO dates!
Turk
J.D.: Look, Danni, the reason I'm here is - well, first of all I wanted to give you back your skull lighter. Secondly, you always seem to have some insight in to why I'm so messed up. I mean here I-I chase after Elliot for three years, now I don't want her!
Danni: Well maybe it's 'cause you idealize women and no one can live up to your standards.
J.D.: Why would I idealize women?
Danni: What's your mom like?
Flashback
J.D.'s Mom: I love you, honey. You're the smartest, handsomest, sweetest boy in the whole world. And no matter how hard you look, you will never find a woman who'll love you as much as I do.
Little J.D.: I know, Mommy.
End Flashback
J.D.: My mom is perfect.
Sean: Yeah, and I gotta get up early and look for an apartment.
Elliot: Yeah, he wouldn't take this perfect one he saw today just 'cause the last tenant died there.
Sean: Elliot! Rats ate his tongue out!
Elliot: Yeah, but the kitchen was so cute!
J.D.'s Narration: I think that the problem with most people who want what they can't have is that, when they actually get the thing they covet, they don't want it anymore. But not this guy.
Elliot: Well, Dr. Dorian, you have me. You finally have me.
She snuggles close to him, and he finally takes a moment to realize what he has
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, my God! I DON'T WANT HER!
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not dying of anything, although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions, I will be forced to kill you.
Mr. Corman: Well look who never learned to share.
Todd: Dude. Why is Hot Doc being so nice to you lately?
Turk: I don't know, but it's about time. I haven't had to work this hard to win someone over since Carla's mom.
Todd: I thought Carla's mom hated you?
Turk: Yeah, but she died, so I'm counting it as a win.
J.D.'s Narration: She seems almost peaceful...
Danni: Later, butt-licks!
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe not.
J.D.: Look Elliot, every year we bounce around this thing and I never had the courage to just stand up and tell you how I feel... I'm crazy about you. And I want you to know, if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world, or sitting at home with you, eating a pizza, watching a crappy TV show, I'd choose you everytime.
Elliot: I.. I have to go.
