Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Dr. Turner: But Hooch, if the patient just has simple cellulitis, why aren't the antibiotics working?
Hooch: Dammit, Turner! It just doesn't make sense!
Jake: Hey, Elliot.
Elliot: Mm.
Jake: So that girl's kinda cute, what's her story?
J.D.: She's a dude.
Jake: Nuh-uh.
J.D.: Gotta look at the Adam's apple, buddy.
Jake: He spelled "attorney" wrong.
J.D.(reads post-it): "Buy Groceries. Kill Self."
Turk: So check this out: Our therapist says I'm the type of guy who pretends everything's okay even when I'm upset deep down inside.
J.D.: Well, I think that's true. I mean, if you look at the whole Carla kissing thing, I think intellectually you moved on, but emotionally you're still upset. You'll get there, though, pal.
Turk: I'm not upset!
J.D.: Really? Oh, okay. I'll see you later. Bye.
(Turk socks him in the arm.)
J.D.: Ow! You see!
Turk: See what?
J.D.: Let's try it again. I'll see you later, buddy. Bye!
Turk: Bye.
(Turk socks him again.)
J.D.: OW! Always the same spot! It's like your fingers are stone!
Jake: Just admit it - you're just here from the future to destroy me.
J.D.: I am not from the future, Jake! Gesundheit, Carol!
(Carol sneezes.)
J.D.: Yes! It finally worked! What are the odds?
Elliot: Uh, do you guys think that Clarissa is more attractive than me?
Dr. Cox: Yes...who's Clarissa?
Elliot: She's the short, balding woman in the pharmacy.
Dr. Cox: Oh, then definitely yes.
Therapist: Chris. What's going on with you?
Turk: Nothing worth talking about.
Therapist: This is your third visit, and you've yet to say anything real about how you're feeling.
Turk: That's because I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship.
Therapist: I think you pretend that everything's okay even though, deep down inside, a lot of things are bothering you. So, come on, tell me what you're thinking right now.
Turk: I'm staring at that picture above your head. Yeah, now, is that one of those psychological ink-blot tests where I try and figure out what it is? Because if so, I'm seeing a duck.
(There's a large photo of a duck)
(Panting) They're smart, they are organized...and they've got my keys!
Janitor
J.D.: Are you responsible for breaking up Turner and Hooch?
Turk: I need an excuse to get out of couples counseling. Dude, I can't open up, man, I just can't do it. Besides, this way no one gets hurt.
Dr. Turner: We had a hell of a run, man.
Hooch: Just get outta here.
Elliot: Hey, Jake. How's it goin'?
Jake: Oh, heh, I've had better days. How are you?
Flashback
Dr. Cox: Listen to me, Barbacious, you gotta stay the course here. You gotta keep ignoring him.
Elliot: But I am already ignoring him. How do I ignore him more?
Dr. Cox: Aha. Piece of cake. First you engage him, then you ignore him.
End Flashback
Jake: Elliot? I said, How are you?
Elliot: I actually don't have time for this, okay? I'm a doctor!
Jake: But you asked me how I was.
Elliot: Yeah, trying to save lives here. It's not always about you!
Carla: Anyway, I worry that sometimes when I'm tense, I could be a little condescending.
Therapist: Actually, I've noticed that.
Carla: Have you really noticed it, "Mr. Therapist"?
Dennis: Well, look who's back.
Jake: Look, buddy, I, uh, I barely know your sister, and I certainly don't know you, but like it or not, she told me what she wanted and I'm gonna honor that. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and stay here 'til I can figure out a way to make you understand that, even if I have to get myself a lawyer.
(Ted leans in with a post-it.)
Jake: Not you.
