Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Dr. Cox: You do know he's not yours, don'cha.
Mr. Marks: I figured it out. Mostly because his mother was eight months pregnant when I met her. But there were other signs.
Dr. Cox: 'Course.
Elliot, wait! Elliot, you did your flirty manipulation thing in front of that guy in there, and now, well, he kinda thinks you're this despicable floozy ho excuse for a doctor!
Carla
Turk: Ladies. I think we've learned our lesson.
Jordan: That is not helpful, Turkleton!
Turk: I was covered in bees!
Janitor: Hey, buddy. I need you to reconsider Blonde Doctor. And I'm gonna tell you why. See, I'm the future Mr. Blonde Doctor? And I kinda need this to happen so that I can, uh - hey, over here - I need this to happen so that I can just hang out around the house and, you know, bake bread or... gab across the fence with neighbor Marge. Nice lady. Polish, I think. Doesn't matter, I'm not prejudice.
Interviewer: What the hell are you talking about?
Janitor: Here's the thing: I need you to take this can of orange soda, turn, smile, and give Blonde Doctor a big thumb's up! Or, I'm gonna take the same orange soda, follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it.
Murray: I don't know if I can go through with this. I wish there was something to help me get through the door.
Dr. Cox: Hey, jerk-hole.
J.D./Murray: Yeah?
Dr. Cox: No, new jerk-hole!
Look, Murray, it doesn't matter that your father's handsome and charismatic and sings like a young Joan Baez.
J.D.
Turk: You have created a monster. Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine.
Carla: So she used her femininity! The only reason you usually get your lab-work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball, even though he always shoots his foul shots granny-style.
Carla: Okay! I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient. Now. How we gonna fix this thing?
Janitor: You're okay. The guy wanted an orange soda, right? We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away.
Carla: Okay, here's the plan: Jordan and I will take care of interview guy. Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Janitor: I will.
Elliot: Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy!
Jordan: Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave ya!
Carla: Or in your case, what Dr. Fineberg gave you.
Jordan: Exactly!
Murray: I can't believe you got cake! The guy said they didn't have any.
J.D.: Just do what I told you to do.
Murray stretches, pushing his chest out.
Glen: Sweets for the sweet.
Murray: Thank you... Glen.
Mother: Hey, excuse me. My son is interested in becoming a doctor, and I thought maybe you could tell him what it's like.
Turk: I'd love to! I would love to! Do you have a dog, Bowl Cut? Well, I want you to find a pile of its best work and roll all around in it. See, that's how it feels to be a doctor. Because here's the dirty little secret. People don't want your help. They want your dignity, they want your pride, but mostly, they want your money. Good luck in med school. Oh! The next time you see a magic show, the bunny was in the hat the whole time. Peace out!
Carla: What is the matter with you two? J.D., you said you were going to break up with Neena.
J.D.: I know! Believe me, the whole time we were having sex I was thinking about Turk. That came out wrong...
