Scrubs Season 8 Quotes
Elliot: J.D. was sitting in that exact chair when we had our third kiss
Kelso: Oh that is very romantic, I will try not to drill any more farts into it
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize you don't work here anymore
Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend of mine, plus I have forgotten more medicine than you two will ever know. [to Denise] I don't know you but I assume I have you beat because you're blond and rolling with ms reeks of beer
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: And watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I beat up
Kelso: I like her, she has girl balls
I'm not what you call a winner... sure I'm a lawyer but that's only becaus I took the bar exam in Alaska and they only have like four laws and most of them are when you can and cannot kill... seals.
Ted
[after stapling clothes to the wall in the form of a person...]
Jack: Hey guys, I finally got a brother!
Cox: He's either a genius or an idiot
Jack [to J.D.'s baby]: Janus, you are one ugly baby, seriously
J.D: Did you actually teach your son to be mean to a baby?
Cox: Not just any baby, but your baby. Come here Jacky boy, you're going to get ten thousand jelly beans, I love you so much
J.D. They can both be so mean
J.D.: We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples...
Ted: Why should they be happy!?
Carla: My best friend is a doctor
Elliot: Who's your best friend?
Carla: You are
Elliot: I know, I just wanted to hear it
J.D.: Hey, I'm glad I found you. I need your approval to cut down some lollipop trees outside the sea monkey hut
Denise: What are you talking about?
J.D.: These decisions have to go through you because you're the mayor of crazy town
Kelso: Dr. Reid, when did you become homeless?
Elliot: These are just my cookie pants
Kelso: These are my muffin pants. I've been wearing them since I retired
Turk: Elliot, are you sick?
Elliot: No, i just don't have makeup on
Turk: You look pretty
J.D: I was still trying to get my intern Joe to be more sensitive with her patient
[flashes into room with patient]
Denise: Don't worry Mr Hepburn, a lot of people are afraid needles. I was only surprised because you're the first one I've come across that doesn't have a vagina
[they leave the room]
Denise: Did you know that guy was a priest?
J.D: I did
Intern: You gonna go to the hemoglobin lecture?
Ed: No can do other Indian guy, I'm about to go get some pizza!
