Popular Seinfeld Quotes
Imagine, spelling "Mom" with two O's.
Jerry
(to himself) What's going on here? Gotta be her boyfriend, she's too good to be alone. What's the difference, I can't maneuver anyway with Elaine next to me.
Jerry
Vanessa: Why don't you relax and take your jacket off?
Jerry: Oh, I can't. I have a tendency to get chilly.
Vanessa: How masculine.
Jerry: Plus I'm wearing short sleeves. I don't want to expose my tattoos.
Vanessa: How big a tip do you think it'd take to get him to stop?
Jerry: I'm in for five.
Vanessa: I'll supply the hat.
Jerry: (to himself) Uh-oh. What do we have here?
Elaine: Hi Pamela, you remember Jerry.
Pamela: Yes, we met.
Jerry: Hi, happy birthday.
Pamela: Ahh, everybody, this is Elaine and Jerry.
Guests: Hi!
Jerry: I didn't bring anything.
Elaine: C'mon lets go, c'mon
Jerry: Was I supposed to bring something?
Elaine: You could have.
Jerry: I met her one time
Elaine: It is not necessary.
A wedding!? Have you lost it, man?
Elaine
Elaine: What do you think their parents think?
Jerry: "So, uh, what's your son doing now, Dr. Stevens?" "Oh, he's a public fornicator. Yes, he's a fine boy."
Jerry: What's that one?
Elaine: "Cocoon II: The Return". I guess they didn't like it up there
Jerry: Maybe they came back for Chinese food. Y'know Maureen Stapleton, if she gets a craving, she's probably screaming at those aliens, "I gotta have a Lo Mein!"
Jerry: So, do you date immature men?
Vanessa: Almost exclusively.
George: I'm, uh, I'm an architect.
Vanessa: Really. What do you design?
George: Uh, railroads, uh
Vanessa: I thought engineers do that.
George: They can
Let's face it, a date is a job interview that lasts all night. The difference between a date and job interview is not many interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end.
Jerry