Seinfeld Season 2 Episode 3: "The Jacket" Quotes
Mr. Benes: Are you working?
Elaine: Yeah, I'm reading manuscripts for Pendant Publishing. I told you ten times.
Mr. Benes: Pendant, those bastards!
I had a leather jacket that got ruined. Now, why does moisture ruin leather? I don't get this. Aren't cows outside most of the time? I don't understand it. When it's raining do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in, we're all wearing leather. Open the door! We're gonna ruin the whole outfit here!" "Is it suede?" "I am suede, the whole thing is suede, I can't have this cleaned. It's all I got!"Jerry
And I'll tell you something else, I'm not even going to ask you. I want to know. But I'm not gonna ask. You'll tell me when you feel comfortable. So what was it? Four hundred? Five hundred? Did you pay five hundred for this? (Jerry coyly ignores George's questions, while George grows increasingly serious.) Over six? Can't be seven. Don't tell me you paid seven hundred dollars for this jacket! Did you pay seven hundred dollars for this jacket? Is that what you're saying to me? You are sick! Is that what you paid for this jacket? Over seven hundred? What did you pay for this jacket? I won't say anything. I wanna know what you paid for this jacket! Oh my God! A thousand dollars? You paid a thousand dollars for this jacket? All right, fine. (George heads for the door) I'm walking outta here right now thinking you paid a thousand dollars for this jacket, unless you tell me different. (Jerry remains silent) Oh, ho! All right! I'll tell you what, if you don't say anything in the next five seconds, I'll know it was over a thousand.George
George: I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed Fair Game. I thought it was just brilliant.
Mr. Benes: Drivel.
George: Maybe some parts.
Mr. Benes: What parts?
George: The drivel parts.
Jerry: This jacket has completely changed my life.
George: Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunched heterosexuality. It's fabulous.
We had a funny guy with us in Korea. Tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific There's nothing funny about that.Mr. Benes
George: (singing) Master of the house, doling out the charm
Mr. Benes: (singing) Master of the house, keeper of the inn
(mocking Alton Benes) He's in the bathroom.George
Jerry: How are we going to get out of it?
George: We'll say we're frightened and we have to go home.
Pipe down, chorus boy.Mr. Benes
Elaine: My father thinks George is gay.
Jerry: Because of all the singing?
Elaine: No, he pretty much thinks everyone is gay.