The truth? You want the truth? It is your earrings! It is the chopsticks, but it's so much more! You're pretentious! You call everyone by their full name! You call my doorman, Sammy, "Samuel" but you didn't even say "Samuel", you went "Samuelle!" Papie-ay mach-ay? What is papie-ay mach-ay?


Kramer: I don't even pay taxes.Jerry: Well that's easy when you have no income.

Elaine: What did you think, that would impress me?Jerry: You got it all wrong! I was thinking only of the poor Krakatoans!Elaine: Like you give this donation for 50 bucks and I'd start tearing my clothes off?Jerry: Those brave Krakatoans... East of Java! Who sacrificed so much for so long!

George: My whole life has been a complete waste of time.Jerry: And there's so much more to go.

Jerry: Completely naked?Kramer: Completely naked.Elaine: Jerrry, How can I go on?Kramer: Alright. I'll tell you what. If it's going to make you feel any better, you can see me naked.Elaine: No thank you!Kramer: No, I want you to see me naked.Elaine: No, no, no!Kramer: No, I want to show you.

Have you ever been audited? It's hell. It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination.


Seinfeld Season 3 Episode 2 Quotes

My cousin Douglas was in a place like this one time. He came over to my house for dinner. There was no soda and he went berserk. He was screaming. "Where's the Pepsi, where's the Pepsi?"


I was audited last year. At first I thought well, IRS kinda sounds like Toys 'R Us maybe won't be so bad.