Oh, look, my egg wasn't different. It was special.

Rehab

I hate that goddamn midget Game of Thrones guitar.

Gigi

We're the most f**ked up band in the history of rock and roll!

Johnny

Johnny: The gods of rock and roll are smiling on us, and now we have a chance to be what we could have been, what we should have been, what we're gonna be, which is the greatest rock and roll band on the face of the planet. I just want to tell you guys, it's not just Gigi, I really consider you guys like my family, and I've been having this... who ate one of my peaches god dammit?
Bam: You should have gave me my drum solo.

Johnny: I want 27 peaches.
Gigi: Why?
Johnny: Why not?

If he gets a drum solo, I want a bass solo.

Rehab

Flash: We're never doing another gig with you as our lead singer.
Ira: They're offering us a 175 grand.
Flash: We're doing one more gig with you as our lead singer.

This band is so dysfunctional it makes Metallica look like the goddamn Jonas Brothers.

Gigi

This is a grief bouquet. Not flowers.

Rehab

Gigi: Did you ever hear of the story of Jonah and the Whale?
Johnny: Yeah, I think I saw it. That was that pretentious indie flick with Jeff Daniels as the asshole dad in Brooklyn?

Flash: Think how dope that story would be. Lead guitar player shoots lead singer. It would make the Stones and Aerosmith look like total pussies.
Ava: Suck on that, Oasis.
Rehab: So typical. Why can’t the bass player be the one who shoots the guy?

I just dropped dead and came back to life, I think I deserve a little party.

Johnny