You married a drug lord's daughter to hang on to your ear?

Fiona [to Steve]

Veronica: He's sending a signal.
Fiona: Like what?
Veronica: I still wanna sit on your face?

Christ, you're pathetic, you bed wetting excuse for a son.

Grammy [to Frank]

Tony: I don't take bribes.
Steve: Dude you're living in one.

Frank, I can't let you be in charge of the insurance money. Hunnie, you're an alcoholic.


The only time I go to church is when I wanna get molested.


Where can I get knives and blunts?


Went to Karen's, tried to step up, she told me to f*ck off. She'd rather play house with Keanu.


The best gift you can give is neglect. Neglect fosters self-reliance.

Frank [to Lip]

Frank: That's the Gallagher sperm: ambitious, relentless, everything we're not once we're born.

Put the top back, no more playing dress up. Hymen stays in tact.

Fiona [to Debbie]

Sheils, even Osama had to come out of his cave every once in awhile.


Shameless Season 2 Quotes

The man's in love with his own fabulous self, probably masturbates while he licks his reflection in the mirror.


I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. There's no way you got tasered twice, fought off three cops and ran away.