Ford: I come in peace.
Fiona: Oh, fuck, no.

Fiona: You egotistical fuck. I haven't thought about you in weeks.
Debbie: We thought about you though.

Fiona: Jesus!
Debbie: That water you're using? We're paying for that.

Social Worker: This is Santiago. Doesn't speak a word of English.
V: Great.
Kev: No problemo.

Frank, would you fertilize my eggs?

Ingrid

Tammy: What is this?
Lip: We share our underwear.
Tammy: You guys should each have your own underwear.

I've been giving Fiona money for the bills. So has Lip. She just hasn't been paying them.

Debbie

Turn this into more drinks.

Fiona

Fiona: Adult shit, okay.
Debbie: Fuck that, I’m not a kid. I have a kid.

Neighbor: Shut the hell up.
Fiona: You shut the hell up. I’m a fucking mermaid.

No, hell no, over my god damn dead body. You think I’m getting pregnant again?

V

Fiona: I don’t have the 25k.
Max: You don’t have 25k? Who doesn’t have 25k?
Fiona: Me.

Shameless Season 9 Quotes

Neighbor: Shut the hell up.
Fiona: You shut the hell up. I’m a fucking mermaid.

Man: Hey, Frank, this is for screwing my whore wife.
[Man kicks Frank.]
Wife: Call me!