Shameless
Sundays 9:00 PM on ShowtimeShameless Season 9 Quotes
Kev: V and Kevin are dead.
Shontelle: What?
Kev: Yes, I murdered them, and there’s blood everywhere. You’re next, Shontelle.
Oh, no way! Talk a bear! That monster threw out Talk a bear.
Kev
V: Who's that?
Kev: Probably a Gallagher.
Fiona: Hi, is Ford here?
Patty: Do you know what time it is?
Ford: What's going on? Fiona ... I got this, Patty.
Fiona: Patty? Yes ... you said Patty was your mother.
Patty: I'm his wife.
Mickey: I rolled on the cartel I was working for and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?
Ian: Holy fuck.
Mickey: Oh, hey. I got bottom so you're on top.
Sister Francis: Amy brought this in for show-and-tell day today.
[Sister Francis waves a dildo at Kev and V.]
V: That's weird.
Kev: I wonder where she got that from.
Geneva: You are putting lives at risk, kids want Gay Jesus.
Fiona: Well, they can't have him, he belongs with his family.
Customer: Frank, your piss is brown.
Frank: It is brown.
Liam, come in here and rub your baby mother's feet.
Sissy
If my brother is sent to jail I'm going to set a van on fire and make sure you're inside of it, you little pixie.
Fiona
You're making me want cock!
Debbie
Lip: Hey, Carl. How much longer are those dogs going to be dying down there?
Carl: It's in God's hands now.
Lip: Well, tell God to hurry the fuck up, alright? The whole house stinks.
Carl: I'm providing an essential service for below the poverty line animal lovers while racking up on community service hours for my Westpoint application.
